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TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2005...
I got this as a e-mail I thought it was funny
TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2005...
> (according to Reader's Digest)
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>
> Smart Ass Answer #5:
> A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
>tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and
>he
>opened his trench co! at and flashed her.
> Without missing a beat....she said,"Sir, I need to see your ticket
>not
>your stub."
> Smart Ass Answer #4:
> A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
>but
>she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
>"Do
>these turkeys get any bigger?"
> The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
> Smart Ass Answer #3:
> The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
>rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
>said.
> The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
> When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
>without a ticket.
> Smart Ass Answer #2:
> A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
>that
>reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."
> Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
>stuck
>under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car
>comes
>up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his
>hands on his hips and says,
> "Got stuck, huh?"
> The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran
>out of
>gas."
> AND NOW........FOR THE. #1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005 .
> .. A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final
>exam.
>"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
>tomorrow. I
>might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
>or
>a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
>whatsoever!"
> A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
>"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
>utter sexual exhaustion?"
> The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
> When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the
>student,
>shakes her head an! d sweetly says,
> "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
>hand."
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