THE LITTLE OLD LADY IN COURT. . .

Defence Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.

Defence Attorney:Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defence Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defence Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

Defence Attorneyid you stop him?

Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.

Defence Attorney:Why not?

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner died some 30 years ago.

Defence Attorney:What happened next?

Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.

Defence Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.

Defence Attorney:Why not?

Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defence Attorney:What happened next?

Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man."

Defence Attorneyid he take you?

Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot the little bastard.